esperesa: (Default)
Yuxi ([personal profile] esperesa) wrote2011-04-12 11:16 pm

[Malrennan's Fall] Prologue (rewritten)

Okay well, I'll just leave this here. Here's the reworked version of the first few pages for Malrennan's Fall. I like to think it looks more interesting this way. There is only one real plot difference and it's not all that important, but, you know. Pretties.

The old version looked like this, for those who would like to see it: Page 1, page 2.

- Beta'd by Phoen. Thanks babe. <3

Warning for gore. As in dead people. Again.

* Malnourishment and ascites can cause extreme bloating of the abdominal captivity due to the accumulation of fluids (oedema).

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digitaldollies: grrrrrr (Default)

[personal profile] digitaldollies 2011-04-12 09:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow! You pictures are breathtaking. This is off to a great start.

[identity profile] 2011-04-12 10:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Plot changes do matter! Ok apart from the bloat and baby...yes of course it's gorgeous. I'm wondering why you think it's more interesting. The last shot is beyond belief perfect, and it looks like a womb.
pyxidis: (Default)

[personal profile] pyxidis 2011-04-13 11:40 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my gosh, so gorgeous! I never thought the pictures could get any better. :) Can't wait for more.
blackmetalheart: (Default)

[personal profile] blackmetalheart 2011-04-13 09:49 pm (UTC)(link)
Beautiful reworking.
simsarenotfood: (Default)

[personal profile] simsarenotfood 2011-04-14 02:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow this is gorgeous, the pictures and the plot and everything, I can't wait for the next part! :)
lovehappyweekend: (Default)

[personal profile] lovehappyweekend 2011-04-16 09:48 am (UTC)(link)
Eee ;_; *long time stalker*

Adore the atmosphere in this, wow! Having everyone faceless lends it this air of disturbing impersonality. Both sets were well-taken but the latter is so much more chilling. :'D I AWAIT LATER INSTALLMENTS WITH BATED BREATH
xtinabobina: (Default)

[personal profile] xtinabobina 2011-04-17 08:11 am (UTC)(link)
*facepalm* Holy cow. Your shots tell a story all their own. <3


(Anonymous) 2011-07-30 12:19 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow. I really don't have much to say but you're AMAZING. Every scene is so reaaaaal.