esperesa: (Default)
Yuxi ([personal profile] esperesa) wrote2011-11-07 10:36 am

[Malrennan's Fall] Rewrite, chapter 1 14-17

This again. Still building up to the part where I was before I got the rewrite urge.


Warning for naked man-arse (no bits).

Do poke me if I somehow got that Russian wrong.

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maaron: (ShenI)

[personal profile] maaron 2011-11-07 02:10 pm (UTC)(link)

iosiren: (Default)

[personal profile] iosiren 2011-11-07 02:20 pm (UTC)(link)
stunning <3

(Anonymous) 2011-11-07 02:34 pm (UTC)(link)

[identity profile] 2011-11-07 04:32 pm (UTC)(link)
HAHA I love his attitude! What a fantastic line (one I'd love to use but could never pull off). No indeed, the person you have reached is not Marwood. Priceless!

I am just swooning over what you've done visually. You always come up with the most astonishing works of art. I'm dying to know what that horizontal line of light is. I've never seen it used anyplace else, and it works so perfectly in that glossy, glamorous hotel room with the disk sitting there next to the ipod. Including the musical notes was genius, kind of fourth wall fantastic.
ladybird: (Default)

[personal profile] ladybird 2011-11-08 08:41 am (UTC)(link)
Your decoration skills are just outstanding. And your russian is ok, too. ;)
lovelyxwow: (♔skeleton in me)

[personal profile] lovelyxwow 2011-11-08 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I can see so much in this scene. Very nice!!

Flawless editing, as always. Every picture is stunning!!!

(Anonymous) 2011-11-09 12:00 am (UTC)(link)
May I ask where you got the bed depicted in the background during the phone conversation? It's gorgeous.

Can't wait for the next installment!

(Anonymous) 2011-11-10 12:01 am (UTC)(link)
/stays lurking in the shadows until the next update

Your storytelling techniques are truly captivating. I never got to have a look at the previous version of the plot but this rewrite I'm certainly enjoying.

Thanks a bunch for being so helpful with the WCIF, too. Not everyone would bother. :)
aglaya: (Default)


[personal profile] aglaya 2011-11-09 03:27 pm (UTC)(link)
Ух ты!
I mean it's cool!
And who wrote that it is not strong in Russian
Poke: You made ​​a mistake the first time, in cloud. Е and Э different letters.

So... He Russian?
aglaya: (Default)

Re: Мамадорогая!

[personal profile] aglaya 2011-11-09 10:58 pm (UTC)(link)
How interesting!
And why only supposed to?

Had not read before so now do not understand a lot. But... Intriguing. It is very intriguing.
Thank YOU! Very very much!


(Anonymous) 2011-11-12 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)
where can I find those glasses on the table?
azzy: (cth'ullo)

[personal profile] azzy 2011-11-29 11:45 pm (UTC)(link)
Loved it before, love it now =)
syrosis: (Camelot)

[personal profile] syrosis 2011-12-01 02:05 am (UTC)(link)
This is just stunning, I have to say! I can't wait for more!

[personal profile] bolob 2012-01-01 08:52 pm (UTC)(link)
I remember this story from a long time ago, but this is wonderfully done. I like how it's somewhat between a comic and a manga. The characters are very interesting and I love your placement of everything. Absolutely beautiful :D